A Thank You to my Mom

Six & a half weeks ago you jumped into our life in VA to lend a hand. I was almost 37 weeks pregnant with our fourth. With 3 busy demanding kids, a hard working hubby & a packed weekly schedule I was left feeling exhausted, completely overwhelmed & tapped out. It’s funny how the silly things like what seat you sit in at dinner matters (hello assigned seating & routine) & what coffee mug you use (you found my favorite). 🤣 It’s also funny we realized how to celebrate our differences…being opposites really pays off & makes sharing quite blissful. For example, sour patch kids (I like the red/green, you like the orange/yellow), wings (I like the drumsticks in ranch, you like the flats in blue cheese). 🤷🏻‍♀️

I know the kids joked & introduced you to their friends as “The Maid” but my goodness you earned the title. For the countless loads of laundry, dishes, floors cleaned, beds made & blinds cleaned. Blinds cleaned…I mean who even does that? That was part of our nesting prior to baby. You made sure the kids had snack packed for school, helped get them ready & picked them up from school. You held down the fort while we were in the hospital & assisted me with whatever was needed.

You really got into routine & started to embrace this crazy life. You really enjoyed music class, I was starting to think we may need to sign you up! 🤣 You quickly owned that routine & learned the songs as well as how to “pat the beat”. Watching the other kids enjoy music class with their Mimi & Nana’s usually make me wish my kids had that once in awhile & they DID… for 6.5 weeks & what a beautiful sight!! You were able to attend music, skating, banquet, school play & more!! I felt overjoyed & fulfilled & I know my kids did too.

For 6.5 weeks I’ve had a constant friend by my side. We shopped, went to the movies, colored by number (for longer than we like to admit), watched tv, ate junk food & just lived day to day life by each others side. It’s been great! It’s hard to believe we made it this long without hurting one another, but it honestly got easier the longer you were here. Now it’s hard to think about saying “see ya later”. I can feel the loneliness settling in already & your still here. I know you do too. The reality of life with 4 kids is about to hit me hard. Waking early after sleepless nights, keeping up with the demands of the kids & their schedules, meal planning & so on all while trying to keep my sanity alone.

My wish is that you recognize your value & realize your self worth. I hope you know how much you helped us & we are beyond grateful!! We love you!! XO 😘♥️

All in God’s timing.

You came to me at a time I needed you most. You’ve been with me through times I’ve needed you most. You were no coincidence, you were right on time. You’ve given me strength when I thought I didn’t have it in me. You’ve been the greatest surprise blessing we didn’t even know we needed. It’s been a long, tough, emotional journey & while it seems like the months have gone by so slow it’s hard to wrap my head around the fact that we are in our final weeks. We are all so anxious to meet you. While you’ve been in our hearts, we can’t wait for you to be in our arms. I will continue to have faith that whatever comes our way in these final weeks is all part of the plan. Gods plan. I will be strong. I will be patient. I will have faith & trust. I will love you forever & always my greatest surprise blessing. #36weeks

Love,

Mamas Open Heart ♥️ xoxo

Living without Expression & Depression

So many things have become clear lately. One of them being the inability to express myself without being criticized. Yes I know that’s common in politics, but that’s not my thing nor what I’m referring to.

I’m talking everyday life. I feel as if I have become this person living in a shell just surviving day by day. It’s awful if you can imagine. Every time I open my mouth I’ve said the wrong thing. Every time I do something, it’s done wrong.

Caring too much about anything is a crime. I’m punished daily in multitudes of ways by just simply caring. I’ve begun to think maybe I just need to care less. What an awful thought to think I would need to change something that comes so natural to me. It’s hurting me. Why do people have to suck so much? Why do I have to hurt so much? I’m really hoping 2019 can be my year to begin THRIVING & LIVING. I so desperately need it to be. I hate this shell I’m surviving in. Anyone relate? What’s helped you?

Short and Startling Sunday

Well…I went to bed after 2am with a fuller house & heart. Gram & Mom have arrived for the Holidays & I couldn’t be more thrilled!! ♥️🎄

But now…I’m exhausted. Woke in the 3am hour thanks to one kid & 4am hour thanks to another. Now the 5am hour thanks to…ACID REFLUX maybe?? Woke suddenly gasping for air & hubby patting my back. “You ok babe?” He asked. Shaking & confused I head to the bathroom with this burning sensation in my throat. While puking over the toilet I hear hubby say, “babe, did you just pee yourself?” Yes, I replied in between & carried on. Sorry for the scare babe, frightened me too. Now I’m popping tums, tucked back in bed, tired but awake sitting up because I’m afraid for it to happen again. Worried about the baby, he assures me he’s ok with his movement. God Bless his sweet self, as his timing is always right on time. ♥️ So now I’m curious…anyone experience this? It’s terrifying to wake feeling suffocated. I should note that I did indeed eat late then head to bed shortly after. Safe to say that won’t be happening again. My body keeps trying to fall back asleep & I’m fighting it. I may surrender…soon. Just in time to be woken AGAIN. 💤

A Thanksgiving to remember…regardless of the parts we’d like to forget.

Hoping everyone had a much less eventful day then us. We had an incident this morning that sent us to urgent care then the ER for the day. Somehow, the dog slipped on the wooden floors & his nails got our sweet two year old on the face. It was a total freak accident that threw us in a frantic. Not exactly how we planned to spend our Thanksgiving.

We managed to avoid stitches, however had our first visit with the plastic surgeon. 😳😭 He assured us that allowing the healing to take place naturally instead of the stitches was ok in this case & how to proceed. Our sweet girl just wasn’t having it, even after two rounds of sedation that failed. They said they’ve never seen a little one not respond to the meds, as it would’ve even knocked out an adult. I’m talking blood curdling screams, flailing tantrums, biting. Hubby calls the meds devil juice. It was the worst we’ve ever seen. Talk about absolute heartbreak to see your little one in such distress. I’m so ready for bed, not only to recharge but to escape the thoughts of the days events.

Y’all know about protective mama bears, but a pregnant hormonal mama bear trumps even that. Parenting is definitely not for the weak. What doesn’t kill ya makes ya stronger, right? We are a strong, resilient family & will continue to count our blessings regardless of the tough times thrown at us. I’m emotionally & physically exhausted. We did manage to enjoy a nice, but later than expected dinner together as a family. One of our family traditions is to go around the table & share what each of us is thankful for. As always…it’s each other that means the most. ♥️

Wishing each & every one of you a very Happy Thanksgiving filled with many blessings & health. Don’t ever forget, even when life throws curves, there is always something to remain thankful for. Most often in fact, that’s when we end up feeling it the most, because the situation can always be worse. Soaking up all the extra love & cuddles. Grateful, Thankful, Blessed I am.

XoXo 💋

Mamas Open Heart ♥️

Friday Night chit chat…where y’all at?

HEY!! I can’t believe it’s been so long. How’s everyone been? We’ve been here, there & everywhere, but life’s been good & full of incredible blessings & opportunities.

At the end of October we were outside of Philly for a skate competition where the girls brought home a gold medal!! We enjoyed a lovely visit from Relatives, celebrated my birthday & Halloween!! My Hubby surprised me with tickets to see Mariah Carey in concert mid March. Uh bucket list …check✔️.

Last weekend we traveled to NJ for another skate competition & the girls secured a silver medal against some very tough competition. SO proud!! We took the kids over to visit NYC for their first time & what an experience to see it thru their eyes!! 😍 While there we checked off another thing on my bucket list…ride thru Central Park via Horse & carriage!! ✔️

Been busy decluttering the last couple days. I swear it never ends. Pretty proud of what can be accomplished in a short amount of time. I read this tonight, “owning less is better than organizing more.”-@becoming minimalist. Gee sounds so simple, right? Getting started is always the toughest challenge I swear. Busy weekend ahead, but just wanted to chit chat quickly & will dive in deeper in the days to come.

Have a beautiful & blessed weekend!!

Xoxo 💋 Mamas Open Heart♥️

Minimizing the Madness

The madness has reached an all time high. The kids, the noise level, the amount of stuff, the stress, the commitments. I mean it’s all just so overwhelming & consuming. I’ve recently been more intrigued by this “Minimalist” lifestyle. While I feel like I’ll never “truly” obtain minimalism, I do aspire to learn to let things go (both physically & emotionally) & live a more simple & calm life. A life with distinct purpose. I came across this recently & it’s so very true.

What is minimalism?

The truth is, its meaning varies from person to person. It’s unique & looks different to each beholder. So, will I ever truly achieve minimalism? Perhaps I will in time. It certainly is a lifestyle & a process. It will not happen overnight, in weeks or probably even months. When it does though, what a wonderful place it will be.

Minimalism to ME:

Means less time spent picking up the same things OVER & OVER. Less time stressing over things that are consuming my life, robbing me of time, peace & happiness. Less yelling & frustration. More time for my kids, my hubby & ME. A healthier mind, a calmer soul. Enjoying life in the moment instead of what may be in the future. My kids & hubby are my LIFE & LOVES! Too many things are keeping me from enjoying them to my fullest capacity. I’m done being a slave to my things & my stresses. Time is precious & I’ll never be able to rewind the clock & pick up where I slacked in life. The days are long, but the years are short.

Emotional connection or lack of:

I come from a bloodline with a strong sentimental attachment to things. It’s within me, but I fight everyday to overcome & break the mold. I once would hold onto things for the mere fact that so & so gave it to me. I never wanted to offend anyone because they spent their hard earned money & put thought into whatever it was. My mindset has shifted for sure. I don’t have a disconnect or lack of appreciation these days, but I do have a much deeper connection to the purpose for the things in my life. How does it benefit me or enhance my life? Does it bring me joy? Is it useful or helpful? Don’t get me wrong, I do have some things I’m emotionally attached to for whatever reasons, but I’m learning to recognize the difference. It’s my choice, no longer influenced by the meaning it may have to someone else. This quote below is a beautiful example that resonates so deeply within me. My Grandpa passed away this past spring. He collected & owned many things. Things that meant something to him. It’s not what he physically left behind that matters to me, it’s what’s been instilled deep in my soul. What a beautiful gift.

Life with regret…forget it:

I could look back & think about the ridiculous amount of times I put other things first. Things of less importance. Let’s be real though, what good would that do? Why allow the worries of yesterday to steal the joy from tomorrow. Everyday I strive to be better, to do better, to be a better version of me. Some days I live in a fog just struggling to survive the chaos life throws my way, while others I rise to thrive! Remember you can’t change yesterday, but you can create a better tomorrow. It’s up to YOU to decide when.

I hope at least one piece from this resonates with someone out there. So much more to come. If you enjoyed this, please give it a like & share with someone who may enjoy it as well.

XoXo

Mamas Open Heart ♥️

Halloween…What’s it to you?

So I gotta be honest. The other day my oldest approached me & asked if we could not celebrate Halloween because she doesn’t like the meaning/purpose behind it. I of course looked at her in shock because what kid doesn’t want to celebrate Halloween? Apparently mine. She of course loves the dressing up part & well the candy is a bonus too, but she did ask if we could give Halloween a different meaning.

It’s really one of those Holidays for me that we participate in, but just kinda happens out of routine not out of any particular belief we have. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely LOVE seeing all the kiddos dressed up pretending to be whoever it is that they want to be. BUT, it got me thinking. You CAN be anyone you want to be…EVERY SINGLE DAY! Be the BEST version of YOU there is. Don’t try to be someone else or something that your not.

Uh & how about the ridiculous loads of SUGAR we all bring into our homes courtesy of our kids. It’s unnecessary & addicting. Am I right?

So, why do we participate? Because everyone’s doing it? What’s it to you?

By the way…we did decorate a little, have yet to come up with a “new meaning” & do plan to go out. The kids have not decided on costumes as of yet, however we DID decide at the beginning of the year that we planned to donate the majority of the loot to the Troops.

For those interested in doing the same, the deadline is no later than Nov.9th & the address is below. ⤵️ Please check their website prior for all the details at operationgratitude.com

Operation Gratitude

Attn: Halloween Candy Program

21100 Lassen St.

Chatsworth, CA. 91311-4278

What are YOUR kiddos going as this year?

Be Safe & Have Fun! Xoxo 💋

Mamas Open Heart ♥️

All aboard the “Hair-y” Morning Express

Who can relate…

The morning you all decided to stay in bed just a little longer. You know you should’ve gotten out of bed the moment the alarm sounded, but your comfy warm bed was calling louder.

Y’all scramble to get around in a hurry & your thankful you picked up those pastries from the bakery last night so your kids can devour them in the car on the way to school & the bus stop.

BUT…just as your about to rush out the door with minutes to spare from missing the bus your son announces “Mom, why does it smell like poop?” My eyes nearly rolled a 180 as I let out a sigh. The DOG!!! He pooped… ALL.THE.WAY.DOWN.THE.STAIRS. I quickly clean it up & usher the kids out the door. We pull up to find the bus loading & as the oldest jumps out of the van, I notice her HAIR. Complete bed head & not brushed. Total Mom Fail. I asked her to please try to fix it up some & shook my head in complete disbelief that I JUST sent my first born off looking like a disheveled mess. The same kid I once would change her outfit several times a day over the smallest stain. Always matching & well put together. BUT we didn’t miss the bus…so winning, right? 🤪

Sometimes I feel like I’m failing. Ok…a lot of days. Life can be tough, People can be mean & Time can seem so limited. It’s how we choose to handle it that has the greatest outcome. Today I choose to brush it off, carry on & give myself credit for all the things I did succeed at! Sometimes we are so hard on ourselves. The World can be hard enough on us. Cut yourself some slack & focus on your WINS! 🙌🏼 #tuesdaytruth

Xoxo 💋

Mamas Open Heart ♥️

Salt Dough Recipe

When your child’s teacher sends out a request for volunteers to make salt dough for the kiddos, you oblige. Two batches the night prior & two more last night. Thankfully I had a helper for the second round because I have sore fingers from all the kneading.

The project: Each student will be creating the World Map to include each of the geographical features of each continent. How fun!

Here’s the recipe if your interested:

Mix together…

4 cups flour

2 cups salt

2 cups water

2 tbsp cream of tartar

This makes a good amount so we then broke it down to properly knead the dough. Taking handfuls of the dough we added a tad bit more water to each, kneaded & rolled into balls. Then put the balls together to make a large size ball.

Turned out well for our first go at it & can’t wait to see how the kids projects turn out!

Xoxo 💋

Mamas Open Heart ♥️